Hentai Insanity and Hilarity
by MarioFireRed
Summary: Elsa comes home to a nice surprise, Seris finds out something horrible on her wedding day, and King Seiker is overjoyed with happiness. Why are they all like this? Elsword, Raven, and Chung decide to get...dirty. Inspired by actual skills on the game, watch as hilarity ensues during their normal everyday lives. Rated M for...sexual stuff. One Shot!


**Me: Here's a one shot crack story I decided to make since I've been gone for the past few days.**

**Mario: You were? I thought you're just lazy.**

**Me: ...Eff you. ANYWAY, TIME FOR A ONESHOT!**

**Crystal: ...When did he get like this Mario?**

**Mario: Oh that's when he gets excited for some story or chapter he's thinking of.**

**Classes:**

**Elsword: Sword Knight (15)**

**Rena: Sniper Ranger (?)**

**Raven: Blade Master (27)**

**Eve: Code Nemesis (?)**

**Chung: Deadly Chaser (16)**

**Aisha: Elemental Master (18)**

* * *

_My Perverted Brother_

**Elsa's POV**

I closed the door behind me as I entered our house. My little brother Elsword and I live in this small but cozy two floor apartment. I wrapped up a training session and was about to cook some dinner when I heard...a girl upstairs.

_What the hell? _I initially thought. Normally Elsword doesn't bring girls over. When he does, it's always Aisha or Eve to copy homework or something. Curse his dim witted mind! He's the youngest member of the El Explorers with remarkable swordsmanship for his age but can't even figure out math homework!?

Anyway it's pretty unusual for him to have a girl over. I mean today's Sunday, usually Elsword trains all day but he's been cooped up in his room for whatever reason. Well whatever they're doing, I'll be sure to give him a harsh consequence. _Now where did I put my whip..._

"OOH! OH ELSWORD!" Now the girl's moaning and yelling. What the hell is he thinking about this.

"Oh you want it faster huh?" ...Hell no. I'm putting a stop to this right now!

I slammed open the door to find the two underneath his bedsheets, Elsword covering the girl so I didn't see her. Furious, I stomped my way towards them and loomed over my little brother, who's trying pretty hard to explain himself.

"O-Oh...Sis.." He nervously started up (served him damn right to be scared). "You...came home early..."

"Yes." I cracked my knuckles, ready to pound him. "I finished the daily SSS missions earlier than expected, so I came home to cook some dinner." I switched my glare from my brother to the girl with him.

She has really long blond hair, pointy ears, a huge bust, and...OH NO. "AN ELF ELSWORD!?" I angrily placed my face inches away from his. "DO YOU KNOW HOW OLD ELVES ARE YOUNG MAN!?"

"I-It's no-not what you think S-Sis. Y-You see I'm-" He tried to explain.

"Training." The damn elven girl happily answered for him.

"That's right!" Elsword chimed in. "I'm training!"

"For what?" If I can just find the girl's clothes, I'll send her out and pound him into oblivion! "Working on any moves recently?" The two cowered this time by my death stare.

"U-Uh...Yes!" He tried to come up with a new move. "It's a skill w-where I enlarge my sword's r-range five f-fold to be o-overall more e-effective!"

"OH REALLY!?" I gripped his shoulders down. "AND WHAT'S THIS NEW MOVE CALLED!?"

"Oh I'll show you Sis! Get ready Rena!" _NO! NO, NO, NO! ELSWORD YOU LITTLE PERV-_

"ARMAGAEDDON BLADE!"

I immediately went out of the room and closed the door on them, going downstairs and preparing dinner like nothing happened.

* * *

_My Cheating Husband_

**Seris' POV**

_Oh what a joyous day!_ I woke up from my slumber in a nice white Queen's bed in the Velder castle. I've been looking forward to this day ever since I met him! Humming and strolling out of bed, I happily skipped towards the calendar and checked today's date.

_July 7th! The Harmony Festival, my Wedding!_ I just can't wait, only 12 more hours until Raven and I are going together in our honeymoon! I checked myself in the mirror: a white pajama gown with silver fluffy slippers. Hopefully I can get my little "Ravey Boy" up early so we can get the preparations done first! Glancing at the clock and, after noting that it's 9 AM, closing my bedroom door, I headed over to my sweet Raven's room, which is right next door.

_...What's this!? _I can hear the bed shaking and rumbling with lots of yelling. _Is he...having a nightmare!?_ I thought up a worst case scenario. Hopefully Raven can look forward to the big day once he forgets his nightmare. "HOLD ON RAVEN I'M COMING!" I yelled, taking a step back to barge through the door (silly boy always keeps his locked).

"S-SERIS IS THAT YOU!?" My honey is calling me.

"YES RAVEN I'M GOING TO SAVE YOU FROM YOUR NIGHTMARE!" I slammed the door over and over, nearly breaking it down in the process. _One more hit oughta do it!_ I thought, charging for it one more time.

"SERIS! NO!" _Don't worry Raven, the door's down now! You can get out of your-. _He's...shirtless...and on top of something. I slowly walked over to the bed in horror...is he doing what I think he is? There's some silver haired bitch with my man below him covered in sheets...and the black bed's stained white...

_Oh no...no nono. This isn't happening... this isn't happening..._ "RAVEN!" I yelled straight at him in an anguished flow of tears. "A-ARE YOU...CHEATING ON ME!?"

"WHAT NO SERIS! THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" How dare he! First he gets it on with this bitch before me and now he tries to explain himself!?

"B...But it's our...wedding..." I sank to the floor crying.

"Oh...shit. That's today..." Raven seemed genuinely surprised. Am I not good enough for you Ravey poo?

"OF COURSE IT IS!" I yelled straight at him. "WE'RE THROUGH RAVEN!" I couldn't take it anymore...first he constantly forgets important dates such as this and now having an affair? With this younger girl? That slimy little bastard.

I jumped out of the window above a rapidly flowing river. Perfect. I hope you enjoy yourself with that underaged bitch you cheater.

**Raven's POV**

"..." Damn. I really screwed up.

"System complete." Eve muffled underneath me. "Those skills will aid us in battle soon Raven."

"BUT YOU RUINED MY ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP EVE!"

"...That's your problem now. Now to review your training, Raven."

"IS NOW THE TIME EVE!?" I shouted at her. She ignored me and continued on.

"Moves passed: Hypersonic Stab, Cut Tendon, Giga Drive, Finishing Slash." Oh great Eve once you say it like that, everyone knows what you mean.

"...God dammit Eve." I pounded the floor. _I'm sorry Seris...I really am..._

* * *

_My Son's a Man!_

**King Seiker's POV**

"PRINCE!" I called for my son in the living room. My wife and I need a word with him.

"YEAH DAD!?" His voice rang all the way from his bedroom.

"WE NEED TO GIVE YOU 'THE TALK'!" I yelled out. If he wants to hear better instructions, then hell with it come here yourself.

"Was that really necessary dear? I mean we all know what happened last night." My queen told me what I already knew.

"But of course honey!" I assured her. "Even so, we need to discuss these kinds of matters with our young boy! He's 16 years old for heavens sake!" I stood up and performed a dashing pose. "Why when I was his age, women like that fine magician came rolling up to me asking for my assistance everyday!" My wife facepalmed, but she will never understand the gloriousness that is becoming a man!

Two sets of footsteps rushed downstairs into our grand living room. My son and our visitor, a lovely magician two years older than him, sat on the couch across from us with my boy feeling very very nervous.

"W-What do you want D-Dad?" He has to relax a bit. Everyone gets nervous during their first time, I know I have!

I stood up and loomed over him...giving him the manliest hug of all manly hugs. "YOU'VE DONE IT BOY!" I cried epic waterfall tears with his accomplishment. "YOU'RE FINALLY A MAN."

"E-Excuse...me...fa..ther?" His breath squeezed out, unable to handle my manly embraces. The magician simply sat there and behaved like a true lady.

"HOW DOES IT FEEL MY BOY! TO PRACTICE YOUR BRUTAL SWING AND GIGANTIC IMPACTS ON THIS FINE GIRL!?" My wife and the magician gasped while the latter blushed heavily. It's alright young lady everyone gets sensitive about this topic at first.

I set my boy down back on the couch as he caught his breath. Embracing the girl over the shoulder with one arm, he replied. "Well...it feels...good?"

I hugged him from where he sat. "YES MY BOY THAT IS THE RIGHT RESPONSE!" I happily turned to my queen. "HONEY! WHEN SHALL WE ARRANGE MARRIAGE FOR THESE TWO?"

"M-M-MARRIAGE!" The two teens blushed in unison. "L-L-Lacher I didn't agree to this!" The magician hurriedly glanced at my son. _Lacher? A fine nickname for a man!_

"Shh Aisha!" I heard my son whisper to the girl (my hearing skills have been passed down from the Seiker family for generations!). "If we deny at first, they'll agree more."

"NONSENSE MY BOY! LETS HAVE A WEDDING!" I grabbed the two and skipped towards the reception hall laughing all the way, my wife right behind me whistling happily.

* * *

**Me: Three stories in one folks! **

**Mario: ...You actually used Seris and King Seiker?**

**Me: Mhm! We need more attention for these background characters!**

**Crystal: Next thin you know, Fire will update his next story in 3 weeks.**

**Me: Oh yeah! I bet $50 bucks I'll update 5 within 3 weeks.**

**Mario: YOU'RE ON!**


End file.
